The concept of the pick up line has been so thoroughly lampooned, so completely written off, the mere idea that good pick up lines still exist is laughable. Instead, the idea has evolved into a far more complex concept that takes flirting, chatting and getting to know a person well enough to get their number into consideration. Good pick up lines now consist of an entire conversation where all of your responses, and your responses to her responses, are key. Since the point of good pick up lines is to “pick up” the woman you are talking to, there is far more than simple flirting going on. Let’s take a look at what goes into good pick up lines in the 21st century.

The first tip for anyone looking to pick up someone is to know your audience. If you are flirting with the secretary at work, you know your limitations of what you can say, how you can say it and so forth. If you are flirting with a completely stranger in a nightclub or bar, you likely have a bit more leeway on what you can say, the kinds of jokes you can tell and so on. If you aren’t sure which tact to take, always err on the side of caution. You can always crank up the level of forwardness, but you can never take anything back if you stepped over the line.

Good pick up lines should be memorable, but not for the wrong reasons. If you are looking for a traditional pick up line that will instantly make someone interested in you with a single phrase, you are setting yourself up to fail. Women are far too complex and sophisticated to simply fall for someone that quickly. Good pick up lines start with a conversation, continue with listening and finish with a smile, a nod, and hopefully, an expression of interest for more at a later time. Think of a modern day pick up line as a marathon, not a sprint and you’ll be in the right frame of mind.

There is nothing wrong with approaching a love interest with a strategy in mind, but try not to have a predetermined script in mind. It will make your delivery sound practiced, which is a huge red flag for any women. Most women find the idea of being with a man who knows what he’s doing attractive, but if you come off as a player, they will likely run for the hills. You also need to know when to break away from your predetermined strategy if it isn’t working. Good pick up lines are all about flexibility and thinking on your feet. If you don’t have that skill, you might be lonely for a long time.

Good pick up lines should put a smile on the face of the woman you are talking to, make you memorable without making you infamous and open the door to further conversation. Don’t overthink it and, above all else, remember to be yourself. Follow these tips and you’ll be flush in phone numbers before you know.

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